Why didn't Jesus ever do any carpentry related miracles? Like turn a rock into a nail gun.
Dell India, eunuchs division: We won't fuck up your computer

Morality through complete apathy
Saddam goes on hunger strike, I think he has body issues. I mean he used to be unhealthy, but lately he has been looking pretty trim. That he thinks he needs to starve himself shows a really distorted psyche. Someone should tell him everyone wants to see him executed because of who he is, not because of what he looks like.
The reason I don't like math is there is infitiny -1 wrong answers to pick from.
Valentine's Day was created by single people so they could whine to other single people about how the greeting card companies created Valentine's day in hopes of hooking up with them.
"When prohibition was repealed all the members of congress voted while drinking beer in Congress. If we have a Anti-Gay Marriage amendment, I wonder what will be happening during the repeal of that."
I wouldn't take a shit on you to warm you up to help you avoid hypothermia