In Raiders of the Lost Ark, can you imagine if Indy got his wish and the Ark was put in a museum, then during the opening in which thousands of innocent people attended they opened it. I bet he would feel pretty bad about that and maybe decide some stuff belongs in private collections.

Do lesbians looks for a girl with big hands?

Unconstitutional acts that would make America better part I: mandatory STD tests for entire population. Anyone found to have an STD must get a Mr. Yuck Tattoo on their genital.

You know what would suck, if you lived your life as a good Christian, then finally the rapture starts. This is the moment you've been waiting for you are being taken up. All of the sudden you blurt out Jesus Christ this is awesome. Bam Commandment violated and you don't get to go. That would suck

All economics is local

All economics is local

I think our culuture has hit a defined low at this moment.

Thought up new so bad its good pick up line, thought up too late of course. Hey, You just have to hear my alarm clock.

If I was in charge of the world, jesus would be working at the water treatment plant

REM + Classic Childrens' literature = soooooooometiiiiiimes everybody poops

I am sick of all the anti-Christians calling it Sunday, it is the Lords Day, any calendar maker out there better listen as Christians buy alot of calendars and don't like being insulted

My children's rock group will be called "Wash Your Hands Say Yeah!"

I can't remember if I wrote this idea down, so I am writing/rewriting to preserve it.

Plan to get a blow job out of a woman who isn't attracted to you. invite her over, rent baby geniuses 2. From her POV sucking your dick will seem like heaven compared to having to watch that movie.

Texas justice isn't just blind it's deaf and dumb as well

They say "Hell is other people", but that's not true. Hell is that mother fucker right there. other people are pretty damn cool, but that guy is a dick.

I think I am going to start referring to the federalist society as Scientology for law nerds.

I wonder how can the Liberals be attacked for being

A. Cultural Elites
B. Cultural Relative

at the same time. Either you think your leftist culture is better, or you think all cultures are equal, you can't have it both ways it makes no sense.

Oh damn, I thought I was supporting absinthe only sex education

cheap Halloween costume.

On the front a piece of cardboard that says blowjobs $5, white t shirt on the back written "Yes, I am dressed as your mom"

IF black people have big cocks

and short people have small cocks

Does webster have an average sized penis?

Hitting the links

Old and busted

Goofing off on the clock playing golf with your buddies

New Hotness

goofing off on the clock by surfing the web.... GET IT.... HA!

Make your creditors *SNAP* go away.... pay your fucking bills.

Great concert moments that never happened issue #1.

John Lennon at Madison Square Gardens

Starts playing I've got a feeling

I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside
Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide

The brings the mic down to is ass and lets out this huge fart.

Combining abstract art,

A television playing a picture of a toilet hanging in an art gallery with this is not a toilet written above it.